kissedmequiteinsane:

ive literally never been more motherfucking offended or upset in my goddamned life

slayerkitty:

 

arkhams:

hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry  youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr

time-to-try-defying-gravity:

Real life doesn’t have anywhere near enough spontaneous, pre-choreographed, group dance numbers for my liking.

vorfreudde:

you know how people lose their virginity, im like gaining it

ffinicks:

i think the english should be able to vote for themselves because nobody else does

chlotana:

baby-youremyliquor:

chlotana:

why isn’t “so….yeah.” an acceptable conclusion on a 10 page paper

I’ve not really ever had Starbucks… Someone take me?

literally what the fuck

the-rest-in-trumpets:

katswhiskers:

velvetonions:

imagine a milkshake place called “shakesperience” where all the milkshake flavours are named after puns of shakespeare plays

• Oreothello
• Rolo and Juliet
• Macberry
• Mars Ado About Nothing
• Antonutella and Cleopatra
• Merchocolate of Venice
• Two Gentlemint of Verona
• Richerry III

It would bringeth all the gentlemen to the yard. 

I wish that we could all get along like we did in middle school

snoozlebee:

dekutree:

acceptable pet names:

• babe
• baby
• sweetie
• cutie pie
• darling
• honey

unacceptable pet names:

• boo boo sweetie oojy woojy poogy poo
• cthulhu 
• sweet devil prince in the pale moon light
• Leslie
• floor
• 2% milk
• Ella Fitzgerald

i think you have these mixed up

thanksfortheuniverse:

#yes that is dracula #on a motorbike #if you don’t watch Supernatural already #this is a reason why you should

brolininthetardis:

sometimes this site makes me forget what bendywick candlebatch’s real name even is and then i remember that you don’t need to know butterburger custardsnack’s real name for people to know you’re talking about bennyjet crumplebunch